We have just come back from the vets and are angrily writing our blog before ignoring girl-woman for the rest of the afternoon! It turns out that vets is not a holiday retreat at all! It is a horrid place of strange kitten poking and testing. We shall not be going again whatever girl-woman thinks.
As soon as we arrived we disliked it immensely. We had to wait in a cage in an ugly waiting room and be stared at by a stupid dog! A dog of all animals! It was just insulting.
After that girl-woman took us into vet’s room which smelled funny and didn’t have any curtains to pluck or toy mice to play with. Vet-man tried to win our friendship by saying nice things like ‘my what strong, pretty kittens.’ It didn’t work though, we know we are strong and pretty and we showed him so with our growly teeth and hissing mouths.
We made it very clear that we wanted nothing to do with him but girl-woman turned traitor and helped him to get us out the cage. He did terrible things to us. He poked us and prodded us and looked in our ears. He opened our mouths and pushed big, horrid-tasting tablets inside. Girl-woman unhelpfully took photographs and said useless things like ‘good kitties, nearly done’ but this was a lie, there was more to come.
Vet-man decided to weigh us and although Bella did quite well, I refused to be weighed and kept trying to escape. Eventually vet-man gave up and said I was healthy. I know I am healthy – I could have told him that without all the prodding and poking!
Once it was finally over girl-woman and vet-man discussed potential future visits of awfulness. There was talk of ‘chipping, spaying’ and even ‘needles’. To be honest they can talk all they like because we are not going back there again. Ever.
When we got home girl-woman gave us tuna and said that she had to take us to vet-man to make sure we were healthy and so that we can get passports. We don’t want passports and we know we are healthy so we will not forgive her. We are going to hide behind the snowboards and plan our revenge for the rest of the day.