Behaviour Management

Good morning kitties!

Although humans are generally quite well behaved, there are always times when you will have to impose sanctions for their bad or inappropriate choices. When doing this it’s important to match the sanction to the unacceptable behaviour. It can be hard to know how to respond as unfortunately there’s no guidebook on how best to raise and manage your humans.

We find it works best if you think of your most important non-negotiable rules and then carefully pick punishments for each broken rule. This will be different for each cat but here are ours:

 Rule

 We must be fed at 06:30 every morning.

Sanction

 Late meal arrival will be met with heart breaking meows for 1 minute followed by cold stares.

Rule

 We only eat expensive, organic kitty food.

Sanction

Serving cheap, supermarket-brand kitty food will result in a poop on the internet box.

Rule

Bella needs picking up after a maximum of 2 meows. 

Sanction

3 meows or more are unacceptable. She has waited too long. This will result in her ignoring the humans for an hour whilst thinking angry thoughts.

Rule

I must never be picked up and put in another room. Ever. 

Sanction

If I am enjoying a particular room and am removed then I will scratch boy-man’s new shoes for 3 minutes (it’s always boy-man that removes me).

Rule

No discussing Game of Thrones season 5.   

Sanction

We are only on season 2 so any discussion about the latest episodes will force us to pull out the internet wires during live sporting events.

 

Truth be told we have only made small steps of progress but then our humans are particularly slow learners. We hope this is a helpful guide and that your humans are better behaved than ours.

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2 thoughts on “Behaviour Management

  1. Dearest kitties, while I am in agreement with most of your rules, I have to shake my head and express my disappointment at the rule of not discussing Game of Thrones season 5. May I be of help here in explaining; ……… to the girl and boy-human, the issue of Game of Thrones, or GOT as it is known, is a vital and important ritual, which MUST be discussed regularly and in great detail. I am afraid it is the same for Mufasa and I. All aspects of House Stark, Lannister and other lesser houses have to be examined in depth. In addition there must follow many long (and to a kitty) boring conversations about what will happen to Sansa Stark, Cersei Lannister, the dragon queen, Tyrion Lannister and others. I am sorry to have to say it kitties, but I must declare this rule to be unfair and one that the humans will not be able to keep. I fear you are setting them up to fail in this regard. However, I do agree with all your other rules, so that makes up for it. Lovingly yours, sparkly human-mother xx

    Liked by 1 person

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